THE KILLER BRA

Let me start by asking, hey ladies! How often do you wash your bras? Especially that  ‘best bra’ that is worn nearly every day of the week.

Just recently, I saw a posh looking lady walk past me on the streets wearing a sleeveless top on a pair of dark blue denim and then the first impression of ‘poshness’ waned as soon I  my eyes caught the ‘off-white’  bra straps which were sticking out with dirt marks on them. Thereafter, I recalled a story of how one of my childhood friends was almost raped many years ago but was oddly saved by the state of her bra. It does sound interesting, doesn’t it?

As funny as it sounds, this is a real-life story. The said lady who years ago was just a young girl barely in her twenties, went to see her supposed ‘new’ boyfriend whom after much persuasion had only just decided to give the guy a try by agreeing to go on a date with him with a promise that they were going to take things slow and then would take it to the next level as they progressed.

On that fateful day, they both went out in the ‘boyfriend’s’ father’s car as he was still living at home with his parents since  according to him, he had only just secured employment  with a financial institution having just graduated from the university hence would take a while before he got his own apartment.

And so after the outing on that day, rather than take the lady home, he decided to stop at a friend’s place with the excuse that he needed to pick up some things and so invited her to come along for a few minutes which she obliged him.  But funny enough, at the friend’s place, as soon as she got introduced to the friend and the exchange of pleasantries was over, the friend disappeared from sight and while they were both left alone in the sitting room, the young man pounced on her in an attempt to rape her.

At first it seemed like a joke but when she realised it was no joke, she screamed for help hoping his friend would emerge from within the house to help but no one not even the friend came to her rescue.

And then, Just when she had given up fighting as the guy proved a lot stronger than her, she was speechless to see the shock on the guy’s face when he eventually tore open her blouse to behold the state of her bra which was by-a-far-cry less than what he expected and as soon as he got  over his shock said “what kind of dirty bra is this”?  *laughs* and then immediately let go of the lady who was no longer struggling at the time.

The guy dropped her off at home and he never returned again. And of course, when I saw her later in the day at her place, while in her bedroom with her, she started off the discussion by asking “can what looks like a dirty bra make a man leave you”? And when I asked her why she was asking such a question, she replied by saying “I was almost raped today but as soon as the guy saw this” pulling out a bra out of the heap of laundry on the floor by her wardrobe, “he let go of me”.

As soon as she lifted up the bra and dangled it in my face, I went “oh no way! What is this? This to me is not ‘what looks like a dirty bra’ my friend! This is a dirty bra by all standards. Don’t tell me you wore this out on a date”.

Looking very embarrassed  at my outburst, she said  “but take a look at it properly” pushing the bra closer to my face even as I pulled away “the thing is not really dirty, it’s just the colour that has turned brownish as it originally was pure white when I got it”.

At that point I said “oh it used to be white girlfriend, but it’s no longer white. That’s the more reason why you shouldn’t have worn it on a date in the first place”. Without touching the bra, I pointed towards the armpit areas while she still held it up and added “just take a look at these areas, you can see dirt marks which indicate that you’ve worn this bra for some time without washing hence the greasy marks. If you asked me, I’d say this is a killer bra”.  

She gave up arguing, flung the bra back on the heap of laundry and sat back heavily on her bed with a sigh of despondency even as I reeled off in laughter which of course she didn’t find funny but then I couldn’t help myself. From that day and many years after while we were still in touch, my friend made sure she bought only black and coloured bras and most importantly wore a bra at most thrice a week and washed them at least twice every week . I am sure she still does till date as we’ve not seen for a longtime now. *Just wondering where she is at the moment though*. We lost contact a couple of years ago but then every time I see a bra, especially a dirty one, I remember her and her ‘killer’ bra incident.

So I went to town and asked a couple of ladies on how often they wash their bras. With a promise to keep them anonymous, some of them had these to say:

The first lady said “One bra for two days, because I don’t wear black bras, I wear either white or multi-coloured as it’s easier to tell when they are dirty.  And I think wearing dirty bras is really a bad habit.

Another lady who was asked said “I have a lot of bras but then I have one very best one that I sometimes wear nearly every day” and when asked how often she washes the ‘best bra’ she replied in a very honest way “probably once in two weeks”.  

The third lady who was hilarious said “honestly speaking, as soon as you asked this question, I just realized that I haven’t washed any of my bras in three months now”. She laughed as soon as she saw me looking amazed and then continued “you are shocked right? The truth is, I have up to six bras that I have been changing back to back for the past few months so I can’t really tell the last time I washed any of them as I pick anyone up  whenever I dress up depending on which one my hand gets to first” she continued laughing and quickly walked away.

Hmmm! How about that? Amazing, so amazing.

However, as honest as she sounded, I still want to say this to all the ladies out there not to get too busy that there can’t wash their bras at least twice every week. Save yourselves body smells, rashes and other skin diseases around the breast, armpit and chest areas as a result of dried up sweat and dirt which stick on the bras as we go about active on a daily basis. No matter how good a perfume is, when a bra is dirty, it will ooze a different/repulsive fragrance when mixed with that beautiful perfume.

I also spoke with a guy, who said “there is nothing that puts me off as much as dirty under 

clothing, not just bras. I just can’t stand such sights. No matter how pretty a lady looks on the outside, once I realize she has a penchant for unclean undies or seriously worn out ones, I get put-off BIG TIME ”.

Now ladies, don't forget that the bra is a woman's best friend. So as you keeping strapping away on a daily basis, remember to keep them clean and in good state all the time and do way with them as soon as they get worn out.   

Before I go, let the men ponder on this as well “how often do you wash your boxers”?

That’s a topic for another time. Bye for now!