LET'S DO OUR JOB NOW THAT THERE'S STILL TIME

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In the past or back in the day when there was still some sanity left in the society, when you see a 19 or even 22-25 year old , you could still say “hey! Can you   go on an errand for me” without any fears of getting insulted or objections. Then the answer was always “yes ma/sir” even though you’d just be a few years older, it didn’t matter much then as he/she would go on the errand without complaints and deliver to you before running off to do his/her thing.

Sadly, nowadays, what do we get?

You can’t even reprimand a teenager without getting a sarcastic response. Oh what am I even saying? Did I just say teenager? My sincere apologies.

Now let me rephrase. 

You can’t even scold a 6-10year old child let alone a teenager without having to contend with sarcastic answers to questions you’ve not fully completed the lines of asking in the first place.

How did we get here? Especially in our once “well-behaved” African society.

These days one is confronted with pictures of teenagers paraded on television and all over social media after being caught as suspects in one form of robbery, kidnap, rape or ritual cases. Teenagers who should still be home running errands for their many innocent parents are being paraded on television as suspects/criminals. It’s so sad.

This is one reason why “community parenting” should be taken up as a matter of great concern. Situations where we have to look out for each other’s child thereby quickly call a child to order once he/she starts to derail. But then, community parenting comes with some baggage so the question is are ready to deal with that little baggage as parents just so we’d keep our wards on the right path of life?

Candace Cameron-Bure, an American actress known for her role in ‘Full House’ as D.J. Tanner won my heart during an interview with Wendy Williams not too long ago. Candace said her daughter who’s in her 20s still seeks her opinion on pictures (whether they are appropriate enough) before she can post them on social media. Awww!

For me, that coming from Candace tells a lot on how much she’s invested on her kids. Valeri Bure is a lucky husband and father! I mean, we are talking about a girl in her 20s yet some other kid who's barely a teenager can seldom be talked to let alone seek his/her mother’s opinion on what to or not post on social media. For the latter, it’s a case of “post right away! Who cares”? 

What am I trying to say here? 

We really need to do something about this generation of children/youths else the future would definitely become more disastrous and we would all be blamed for it. Therefore do your job right now as parents or guardians now that we are still here.

STELLA ENE - INYANG

SCHOOL SESSIONS:THE WAY THINGS WERE AND HOW THEY ARE NOW

The other day, I was on my way home from work which was a late evening, just before nightfall. I looked to the car on my left and saw about three kids at the backseat struggling to fight off sleep while the man who obviously was a paid driver given his clothes, struggled with traffic as he kept trying to maneuver from one lane to the other in a bid to get ahead the rest of us.

My concern wasn’t about the driver but was rather 100% geared towards the poor kids who definitely would have left home in the early hours of the morning courtesy of parents who also may have rushed off to work as well.

I don’t know how many of you remember or encountered the days of morning and afternoon school sessions? The days where parents, especially mothers would PROPERLY get children ready for school with very good homemade meals as breakfast and not the junk which many feed kids in a hurry these days.

Back in the day, some of us went to school in the mornings, got back home before the next group would be on their way for the afternoon/evening sessions.

Then most of us who attended the morning sessions were much younger than those who went in the afternoon and everything was fine until things started changing gradually. And trust, lunch would also be waiting for you as all of these would have been prepared in the morning by dearest ‘mummy’ before she left for work. We were well taken care of and properly raised ‘homed’ kids.

In the parts where I grew up, you get home from school, rest a bit, do homework, wash your uniform and then at 4pm when the sun is not so harsh anymore, you are already at the lesson centre and of course your brain would be willing to assimilate most -I say most, not all- of the things you are taught. By 6pm, lessons have closed, then you may or may not hang around to have a little chat with friends for a while but before 7pm, it is expected that you are already home. And of course, most parents would be home from work by the time you got home and thereafter family life is observed. Then we had more intelligent children who didn’t have to spend so much time on social media learning all sorts including the ‘make and mar’, yet most of us turned out great in life.

Sadly, today the reverse is the case. Children stay in school from morning till night, some of them still require extra extra coaching before many of them can pass simple exams without any ‘hanky panky’ yet they spend all day at school; doing what? You may be tempted to ask.

It is in this same era that it has become a norm for parents to not only have to pay for children to get jobs but would pay for children to be moved from one level of class at school to the other until he/she gets the degree/certificate and some of such parents sometimes boast about how much they spend in doing these even when it is very glaring to all that the child is a ‘nut head’.

So the begging question now is what went wrong? How did we get here? What do you think happened?

I guess it all started with the evening lessons and when some teachers realized that they could make better pay by setting up extra mural classes. I also suppose things started going wrong when ‘real’ teachers were no longer interested in teaching given the poor package called ‘salary’ and welfare from both the government and private schools thereby leaving the very humble profession for those whose main objective is ‘money making.

We had teachers whose main intentions were to groom future leaders and well-mannered children. They taught us not just academically but morally and it was left to you to adhere or not to adhere.

There was respect both at school and at home. You would walk on the streets and be greeted by children of unknown faces just because they acknowledged that you were older just by merely looking at you, so would pay their respects even if they didn’t know you from ‘Adam’.

Today, we find so many private crèches’, primary, secondary schools and even universities with many a times outrageous fees where all they teach is confusing (British nor American) phonetics and put in the heads of the children the mentality that their lives/futures are insured just because they attend such schools.

Private schools spring up in different corners everyday yet we are having more educated “illiterates” who even when they get into leadership positions become more corrupt and insensitive to the plight of the masses than those who they earlier complained about before they themselves assumed power thereby proving once again that ‘you can’t give what you don’t have’ as the leaders are truly from amongst the same crop of masses but unfortunately become ‘mini gods’ once they assume office.

It has also become a case of many petrol stations in the country yet we are threatened with fuel scarcity on a daily basis and even more a case of many churches and mosques in any available space across the country, yet immorality is thriving and getting on the increase on a daily basis. That is a topic for another day.

How did we get here?

Many people would say or attribute it to westernization, social media, family values that have gone sour and more. The list is endless hence could go on and on for a long time.

But then again, have you played your role as a child, parent, individual, family, teacher, proprietress, proprietor, organization or government? Be honest.

I have to stop here for now while you ponder on what has been said so far. Will continue the piece on a later date as a sequel to this and so it’s ‘bye’ for now.

DON'T BE WEAK 21st CENTURY PARENTS, ELSE YOU WOULD CRY IN THE TIMES AHEAD

The following was lifted off a friend’s facebook page and it was also ‘copied’ from somewhere as stated by my friend on the page as well.

Nevertheless, I strongly admonish that whoever stumbles on this page should be patient to go through it as it would not only make a ‘good read’ but would also do a lot of good for you and your wards given some of the habits mentioned below. Enjoy!

Dear parents,
HABITS THAT SHOW IMPROPER UPBRINGING IN CHILDREN
Please, carefully look into the list below to see where you may want to make amends on yourself or the young ones you are caring for. Children, if not properly groomed may never get to the top in life, even if the parents are at the top of their career. Manners take you to where your education can't irrespective of your status, money or the "who you know" factor.

1   1)  Going to your child's school dressed indecently? Think again.
2) Speaking rashly to your child's teacher.
3) Cursing, using foul words or swearing in front of your children.
4) Using makeup on children.
5) Dressing indecently for children (they loose the sense of their princesshood).
6) Putting earrings on your son's ears.
7) Your child hold the cup or glassware by the brim and you don't correct.
8) Your children don't greet and you just feel they will come around one day because they have a mood swing. ( You will be blamed for it)
9) Your children eat with their mouth opened and you feel they will grow up some day.
10) Your children bring home something you did not buy for them and you say nothing. ( that is the beginning of stealing)
11) They talk back at you and you conclude it's okay since you are a 21st century mummy. ( You will hate yourself if they do that outside and they are disciplined )
12) They interrupt when you are speaking with another adult and you think they are bold and clever. (Its really bad manners)
13) They exercise authority over their nanny and domestic staff and you let them be. ( that is bad parenting)
14) They say things like "my driver is on his way..."
I am not an advocate that children should call your domestic staff aunty or brother, calling them by name when they are not young people is not poise either. The use of Miss, Mr or Mrs will look good on them.
15) Your children don't say- 'Thank you' when they have been helped or served something and you are cool with that. (Bad parenting)
16) When your children cannot stand children who are less privileged.
18) When they pick their nose with their hands.
19) When they don't wash their hands after visiting the washroom.
20) When your children take something from the fridge without taking permission. (Bad parenting)
21) When your children don't knock on closed doors.
22) When your children don't collect from your hands the stuff you brought in as you walk in through the door.
23) When your children request for a bribe to carry out their home chores or extra task. (That is disgraceful )
24) When your children act like their grand parents irritate them.
25) When your children have not learnt to get up from the chair for the elderly or visitors to sit.
26) When your child tells a lot of lies. (You will both cry in the future)
27) When your child asks "who is that?" at a knock on your door instead of "please, who is there."
28) When your child is always seated by your visitors when being served drinks etc.
29) When your children still point their fingers at other people.
30) When your children play and jump around when prayers are going on.(age 4 above). Don't be a 21st Century parent who cannot correct a child. Train your child in the way of the Lord so that when he grows up he will not depart from it.

 
IT IS BETTER TO LET YOUR CHILDREN CRY AT AN EARLY AGE WHEN YOU CORRECT THEM, IF NOT YOU WILL BOTH CRY AT NIGHT WHEN THEY BRING DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY WITH BAD AND TERRIBLE BEHAVIOURS