WHY WE ARE THE WAY WE ARE

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For most part of this year 2017, I have had to commute to work and a few other places by public transport not because I do not have a car to run around but because I decided not to drive for most part of the year given some reasons including trying to keep my sanity having being attacked in broad day light in traffic right in front of a military cantonment and nothing was done by the patrol team who went into the building the hoodlums ran into. Another reason was until Governor Ambode sent those “special people” in uniforms off the streets who were frustrating drivers and car owners thus making driving a nightmare as no matter how hard you tried to keep your car documents together, they would always find a fault or two so as to give you a fine which many times do not come cheap. Unnecessary traffic in some areas was also a big “NO” for me including some other reasons which are best known to me alone. in this city called Lagos.

On some of these commuting by public transport, I would run into a couple of friends and foes alike who would ask me questions such as “why didn’t you drive? I saw you at so and so bus tops, what where you doing standing on the road waiting for a bus when you could have easily driven? Including a host of other cynical questions. My replies usually  included “oh I didn’t feel like driving too far today” or on the days when the car had a small fault “I took it to the mechanic” or was it when I was still battling with road safety for my drivers’ license? Too many instances when I had to be asked questions upon questions on “why did you not drive”?

On several occasions, some of these ‘concerned people’ would say “you like to stress/suffer yourself sha” and my immediate reply would always be “shey before we started owning cars and being driven around town, many of had to move around by public transport until God started blessing us with the wherewithal to buy cars?

Where am I going with all of these?

Dear reader, let me not bore you with long stories anymore.

My point is, we are where we are today as a people and as a nation because of the mentality of “what would people say” so many of us do things that we would not naturally do because we do not want people to talk.

Well, I’m sorry to be the one to re-echo that “no matter how hard you try, or what you do, people will always talk” so no point killing yourself just to please anyone amongst the crowd out there that think or care nothing about you.

Our leaders will continue to steal us “red” because even when the good ones are elected into power/positions, they are put under pressure by family, friends and those around him to steal from the ‘big government pot to prove that they have arrived’ even when they never intended to do such.

The incumbents look at the lives of predecessors who did not steal while in government and how society has all of a sudden forgotten them as they seemingly have nothing to offer being out of government. Their children are mocked and told such lines as “your father was in government for so and so number of years yet he couldn’t do this or that for himself yet see Mr A and Mr D who held the same position for just a few months, their properties, this that and so on all around the place but your father can only boast of that single flat you all live in at the moment”.

After such remarks, tell me why the next person will not steal when elected into power? That’s if he/she is not self-willed against all odds?

It’s really a terrible world we live in. where evil is applauded and good shamed!

The life that many of us live today is not what we ordinarily want but for the sake of society and what the next person would say, we tend to live our lives for people.

Dear reader, that kind of lifestyle must stop.

As 2017 grinds swiftly to an end, take time to access your life and decide upon how you want to run with 2018. If you want to live a simple life, by all means go for it and save yourself the brouhaha of trying to meet up with the bandwagon of those who want to live their lives to please others thereby killing themselves in the long run.

The awful part of joining that “bandwagon” is that if you drop dead today, many of them would not even notice that you are gone and even if they notice, they wouldn’t even attend your funeral. The least most of them would do is type ‘REST IN PEACE’ on your social media timeline for others to read when they visit your page and thereafter everyone would move on without you.

So dear reader, think about 2018 critically and run it at your pace.

Peace!!! 

STELLA ENE-INYANG   

THERE WILL BE MORE JOY ODAMAS AND EVANS' UNTIL WE STOP DISRESPECTING OURSELVES

As I sit here at my desk in the office going through one of the national dailies on an update report by the Nigerian Police on the death of the late young Joy Odama who was said to have recently died in the hands of an Alhaji as a result of an overdose of cocaine in Abuja, one cannot help but be pained at how callous and undiscerning some so called men can be or get when it comes to exciting themselves with some of these vulnerable girls.

The sad part is that as you read this now, no doubts some other stubborn girls and hell-bent ones are still on their way to see one or two unknown Alhajis even with this trending story on the investigation of Joy Odama’s death. These hell-bent ones will still embark on such journeys with a mindset such as “that Joy Odama Girl was just unlucky, what happened to her can’t happen to me”, and so many more young girls have gone and also met their ends with such mindsets. It’s a sad truth.

A couple of days back, while having a chat with one driver who operates with one of these newly introduced and well packaged car hire service providers in Nigeria, I was amazed when he reeled out the number of young girls he picks up on a daily basis to destinations where they meet men they have never met in person before except via social media connections all in a bid to get money in other to maintain their “slay queen” status. In other words, many of these ‘runs girls’ stake their lives for little, more or nothing when it comes to this kind of business as sometimes their monetary expectations are either met, surpassed, not met or are killed in the process.

What a shameful, painful and sympathetic life as many of them are declared missing on a nearly daily basis, that’s if not found dead with no trace of where or how it happened.

In the case of Joy Odama, she was said to have been invited by a friend to see one ‘Philanthropic’ Alhaji while she was on holidays in Abuja  sometime in December 2016. According to reports, the mother of the deceased was offered N400,000 so that she can keep the matter of her child’s death buried. What an avoidable death!

Now the many questions being asked include “Who was this friend, who is this Alhaji and why would her mother allow her go to see an unknown Alhaji and for what? Can N400,000 bring back the young girl’s life?

Once again, like I have mentioned in previous posts, I reiterate here that the society takes a huge part of the blame when it comes to the question of “who is to blame?”

A young intellectual or young business struggling man or woman appears with an average lifestyle given his/her humble source of income; unfortunately, they are hardly recognized or respected when they appear at events or any social gathering. They do not have a ‘say’ in extended family meetings or amongst a gathering of friends all because they don’t have the kind of money to throw around. If he/she manages to buy a small decent car, buys inexpensive but good looking watches, clothes or shoes, they are looked upon with disdainful looks such as “is this the kind of cars your mates are still driving, do your mates still were such watches, clothes or shoes?”, the list is endless.

To crown it all, he or she is invited for an event and when he gets to the gate of the venue, the security man with just a quick look at his/her car will ask them to park outside with an excuse such as “no more space inside the premise” but as soon as a supposed “big man” with the latest Range Rover arrives the same event, the ‘silly’ security man will not only quickly fling the gates open but will add a quick military-like “salute Sir” and thereafter goes to direct the driver of the car where to park in the same premises he had earlier said there was no longer space.

Now tell me, why won’t young girls, boys, men and women who cannot endure such disrespect anymore lean towards all sorts of methods to get rich overnight just so they can earn the respect they so desire from the society? It takes God and a strong morally bond person to still stick with the “slow and steady” lifestyle with the hope that one day after so much genuine hard work, things will eventually fall into ‘pleasant places’ for him/her.

In the past few days after the news of the death of Joy Odama and the recent capture of ‘Evans’ a reported kingpin in kidnapping made news, the social media has been agog with different remarks filled with 90% of condemnation with the other percentage on pity especially for the family of the victim, Joy whose mother has been seeking for Justice.

Interestingly a huge percentage of all those condemning, casting aspersions and sharing sneering remarks on ‘Evans’ and even Joy Odama’s misfortune, are guilty of disrespecting those who seem ‘not to have arrived’ while praising the “ I have arrived” ones whenever the opportunities arise even when the source of income is questionable. What a group of discriminating ‘two-faced’ individuals.

Sadly, there will be more Evans Chukwudi and Joy Odamas in our society until the government creates an enabling environment for entrepreneurs, until many of us stop our nauseating ostentatious lifestyles and discriminating attitude. Until we stop disrespecting humble earners, until we stop unnecessary praise singing, ‘show-offs’ and thus making guys and ‘queens’ struggling to ‘slay’ on social media as well as events trying to look rich in a bid to earn respect thus getting ‘pocket’ broke in the process, this circle of “menace to society” will never stop.

My two cents!!

IS EVERY TRIAL A MESSENGER WITH A HIDDEN GIFT FOR YOU?

On a few occasions, I have heard people say “every trial is a messenger sent to deliver a hidden gift to you”. A lot of us may want to hold that thought as true while many others may beg to differ and may simply let out statements such as “that’s not true”. On the other hand, another group would say ‘not entirely true’ as they would rather do without such hidden gifts than go through any horrible trial accompanying it.

A few days ago, I read in one of the dailies, Thisday to be precise, about a former bank employee, one Omotade Johnson on how he lost his banking job a couple of years back during the era of voluntary and involuntary  bankers ‘mass exodus’  due to the biting harsh realities of economic recession which was experienced all over the world at the time.

According to Omotade, he decided to face reality and picked up what was left of his life and with the little he had from his savings, decided on entrepreneurship hence went ahead to set up a puff-puff selling business, thereby turning his trial into triumph. What a lot of people in his same predicament at the time would never have given a second thought having just left a Porsche or ‘tush’ paying job.

Without a care in the world of what people would think about his new status of ‘puff-puff’ selling, Omotade strove hard at it and today, he is inspiring a lot of people with his story.

In his own words, “Formerly, I worked with Intercontinental Bank PLC. That happened shortly; I lost the job when the bank got liquidated and everything went flat. But, as a man, you have to work and I can’t see anything I can’t do. So that was why I joined the new trend. The business has been on for the past 11 years; I met it in 2012, when I came to Lagos. I never went to school for it, I learnt it from my friends who were professionals in the business. Although, some of them were younger than me in age then, but that never mattered to me, because all I wanted was for them to teach me how to fry and all other things involved, which they obliged and taught me, even without demanding I should pay money for the training. So, since I joined, the business has been good; I don’t have anything to regret. I’m not lacking any money. I love the business. It’s quite a profitable one. Of course, if it’s not, this my team you see working here wouldn’t have been here. Because you can’t just wake up early in morning, stay here till night without going home with something that is worth the time and you continue working”.

Quite inspiring. I have come across a lot of individuals who are not willing to do such jobs yet they will go out to beg from the people who do such jobs. Kai! What an irony of life. That is one of the things one would signature ‘wickedness or witchcraft’.

A couple of years ago, a friend told me about a family who would always approach her for help on a nearly daily basis. Healthy family with a couple of kids, yet father and mother were doing nothing except begging from one person to the other nevertheless they had this ‘high horse’ thing going on around them.

So one day, this friend of mine had an opening in a laundry organization and so asked the lady to apply but she bluntly refused that she couldn’t do such a job so did her husband. These were people with nothing but barely secondary school certificates nor any professional certificates, yet they were selecting jobs.

My good friend was so upset and told them out rightly that they were both ungrateful people and hence should never ask her for a dime anymore as she did all sorts of jobs including menial jobs to make the monies that they always hounded her to give to them. And according to her, that was the last they heard from her till today as they kept grudges with her from that day. Interestingly, my friend was past caring about how ever they felt or thought about her anyway.

Another inspiring story before I draw the curtains on this outing.

I also read in the course of the week about a lady as seen in the picture on the right with no arms who drives a car on her own, proving again that no fully healthy human being has a right to be idle not to talk about even those with minor disabilities as the picture resounds the notion again that there is ‘really ability In Disability’ hence nothing should be impossible if you are willing to make a difference in life.

Again, I know many people will say that she is advantaged because she was born and lives in a society where things work, hence she can flourish and accomplish her many dreams given her abilities. To a large extent you could be right, however, in this same country of Nigeria, there is an endless list of many disabled people who have achieved many of their dreams and are doing well to a large extent. Thus no one has any excuse to go hungry or begging on the streets. Do something to make a living.

Finally, when I say ‘do something’ I do not in any way insinuate ‘something’ as prostitution, fraud, rituals and their likes, I mean do something legal, good and dignifying to make ends meet and not any form of vices thereby becoming a menace to the society.

So, dear reader, turn that your trial and situation around. Cheers!