I was going through a story that was recently updated online which was
originally published on CNN.com in 2012 and I found it interesting so thought I
should share with you my dear reader hoping that it makes a good read for you
and others.
You rarely come across topics such as this on a daily basis but when you
do see it on a page such as ‘yours sincerely’ trust that it would make a good
read any day.
Given the topic of discussion, the article states that for many people,
all you have to do is watch nearly any depiction of female orgasm on screen to
get an idea of how a woman is "supposed" to react during sex.
From "When Harry
Met Sally" to "Sex and the City" to your basic porn film, women
in the throes of passion aren't just shouting their ecstasy from the rooftops,
they're moaning with pleasure. Loudly.
But is this just
cinematic license, or is there really something to noisy sex?
Experts wondered the
same thing. In 2011, Gayle Brewer of the University of Central Lancashire and
Colin Hendrie of the University of Leeds published their research on the topic
-- technically known as "copulatory vocalization" -- in the Archives
of Sexual Behavior. In the study, they asked 71 sexually active heterosexual
women between ages 18 and 48 for more details about vocalization during sex.
The researchers found
that many of the women did make noise but not necessarily while they were
having an orgasm. Instead, 66% said that they moaned to speed up their
partner's climax, and 87% stated that they vocalized during sex to boost his
self-esteem.
"While female
orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay, copulatory
vocalizations were reported to be made most often before and simultaneously
with male ejaculation," the researchers wrote. Women also reported making
noise to relieve
boredom, fatigue and pain/discomfort during sex.
So is female
vocalization during sex just a performance for a guy's benefit? (After all, Meg
Ryan's over-the-top moans were meant to prove a point to "Harry" that
men are easily duped by a fake orgasm.)
"There isn't a lot
of research in this area," said Kristen Mark, a sexuality researcher at
Indiana University, "but we're bombarded with images through mainstream
media that tell us moaning is associated with orgasm and sexual pleasure. So it
would be a fairly wise faking strategy to moan since men already tend to associate
moaning with orgasm."
Of course, there's
nothing smart about faking it.
"If you're faking
an orgasm, you are signaling to your partner that he is doing everything right,
when in fact he isn't," sex educator and author Patty Brisben said.
"Use moaning as a way of signaling that you are excited and things really
are feeling good, not as a way to hide that they aren't."
Fake or not, women
aren't the only primates who vocalize during sex. Research in the animal
kingdom reveals that female baboons, for example, have a variety of copulation
calls, which appear to relate to their fertility. The vocalizations tend to
become more complex when the females are closer to ovulation and vary when a
female is mating with a higher-ranked male baboon. Female macaque monkeys give
a shout to help trigger their mates' orgasm, too.
Performances and
primatologists aside, vocalizing during sex can actually be a great tool to
help women get what they want in bed.
Brisben added that on
the topic of talking about sex, it isn't always easy to translate sexual
thought into action, so a little strategic moaning can definitely help get the
point across.
"Women are
learning to take responsibility for their own sexual needs and wants in the
bedroom," Brisben explained. "We need to take this one step further
and give ourselves permission to become teachers. Use vocalization to teach
your partner what feels good. It can help you say, 'stop, go, yes, more
please,' without sounding like a traffic cop."
And when it comes to
noise, "partner benefit isn't the only piece of the puzzle," Mark
said. "Perhaps making noise turns some women on and helps them experience
pleasure."
Brisben concurred:
"I think there are many women who need to be vocal to help themselves
achieve orgasm. It helps move them and their orgasm along. There are certainly
phases. As a woman gets into it, she may become extremely vocal and then move
into a period of quiet as she is on the verge."
So do what feels right
to you. Any other benefits are just a great bonus. And when it comes to
"copulatory vocalization," perhaps men should take a lesson from the
ladies.
"Women understand
that moaning is a turn-on for guys, and many women ultimately enjoy it because
they've made an effort to push a little beyond what comes naturally," said
Logan Levkoff, a sex educator and author of a guide for men entitled "How
To Get Your Wife to Have Sex With You."
"But sexual
self-esteem is a two-way street, and, for their part during sex, guys should
aim for more than a single grunt at the end. It's not about faking or doing
something you don't want to, but more about being sexually present and in sync
with each other."
So let's all make some
noise.
