AGAINST ALL ODDS: TIME TO SIT-UP, GET UP AND GO

We all have excuses, too many excuses that could take eternity to recount.

I’ve heard people blame uncles, aunties, fathers, mothers, siblings and more for a failure or two and reasons why they can’t get ahead in life because of what some of these persons did or didn’t do for them and as they dwell on those excuses year-in, year-out they never forge ahead in life.

And sadly or unfortunately, most of the times, those same people who are being grudged, are moving on with their lives and also on many occasions unaware that these persons have any grudges against them. And so while the “grudgers” weary themselves with grudges, the “grudgees” are moving up and having the time of their lives in their daily hustle. In the long run, the grudgers keep getting smaller in their little ‘corners’.

For many who have seen a lot of pains in their lives, pains which ordinarily should have held them back from making anything good in their lives but however defied all those pains to achieve one form of success or the other and in some cases affecting the society positively in one way or the other, I raise many glasses up for you in toast to your ‘success stories against all odds’.

And for many who are still walking around holding the ‘pity cap’ in hand with the ‘blame-game’ I will simply pray for you

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Yes! ‘Pray’ is what I will do for them because there is no point being angry with such persons on why they can’t let go of the past and move ahead in life.

Pray because everyone including “yours sincerely” who has been ‘there’ at one point or the other in life know that it isn’t just an easy ‘walk in the park’ to get out of such situations and get ahead in life.

We are all human beings; nevertheless on several instances, we tend to react to the same situation differently that’s why I say ‘pray’.

Many years ago, a friend came to see me in school and even though she was always looking like all was well, deep within she nursed an anger against a relative who promised to take her abroad after our secondary school certificate exams and then three years after, while many of us were a couple of months away from bagging our BSc’s, she was still waiting and hoping that her aunt would redeem the promise of taking her abroad.

One day, we had a very long talk and my friend broke down uncontrollably as she unburdened the anger and pains which she held deep-seated in her heart all these years. And did I mention that she was wild? As in she smoked, drank and partied without remorse? Yes she did and I always wondered what happened to the sweet girl I knew while we were still in secondary school. After that long talk that day, I realized she took to such habits as a form of ‘getaway’ for the anger against her aunt as she felt the aunty had “wasted” her life. She was simply depressed.  

It took a while to talk her into getting back on track and the first step was getting into “Uni” which meant taking the compulsory JAMB exams first. At first she kicked against it saying “God forbid, when my mates are about to graduate, is now they will see me getting into year one”. I understood her plight, so I kept encouraging her even though we quarreled over the issue on several occasions but I still kept at it until she sat for JAMB, passed and gained admission while I was in my final year. It was a big struggle for her when she started as she felt out of place among her ‘juniors’ in the same class, but she however kept at it and after the first semester, she was happy she took that decision. I was also happy for her but happier that I made her take that decision.

For a long time, before she got into school, many people who saw us together always thought she was a student and one of us on campus whenever we hung out together as she visited the campus on a nearly everyday basis. Because she was a very intelligent girl, she blended so easily with the rest of us and of course always looking posh and even “posher” than a lot of students. So it therefore came as a surprise to many when they eventually found out that she was just getting into 100level while the rest of us were about graduating. Fortunately for her, at this time, she couldn’t be bothered anymore when many others found out as she had already overcome that pain, anger or shame that was within. She however wished she had taken the decision earlier.

Today she’s doing so well in her chosen career, has a lovely family and interestingly can now go ‘abroad’ once in a while. Did I mention that the Aunt actually looks up to her now? Well! That’s life for you.

I have too many reasons to just not ‘hustle’ anymore given many unpleasant things that have happened in my life but I chose not to because in doing that, I would be letting those disappointments win.

Every time such unpleasant things want to flood my thoughts, I remember people like Mike Adenuga who once drove taxi to finance his university education but today a billionaire. Steve Jobs while returning Coke bottles for food, money, had the floor in his friends' rooms as bed at a time, and getting weekly free meals at a local temple had every reason to give up yet founded the now much talked about Apple. Christiano Ronaldo’s father did not believe him when he said they would be very wealthy and rich but today the story is different. Lionel Messi one time served tea at a shop to support his football training sessions and eventually became the world best footballer

Nelson Mandela who did 27 years and later became President and even in death he’s today still seen and talked about as a hero.

Bill Gates didn't even complete his university education and Oprah Winfrey was raped at the age of 9 but both have become some of the world’s richest and most influential persons today.

Who else inspires me? *Thinking*

Yes! Joyce Meyer is well sought after today by millions across the world as one of the most influential preachers in the world even though she was sexually, mentally, emotionally and verbally abused by her father as a child until she left home at the age of eighteen. Dr. Ben Carson struggled academically throughout elementary school yet became the best Neurosurgeons in world in 1987. Tony Blair rose to become Prime Minister even though his teachers called him a failure. The list is endless, not to talk about if i bring it home, starting with my parents. I could really go on forever.

My friend is no longer angry as a matter of fact, she is happy today that her Aunt disappointed her back then as she may not have achieved half of what she’s achieved today if the Aunt had kept to her promise. She jokes about it every now and then saying “who knows? maybe I would have ended up not even doing anything meaningful with my life abroad” well, only God knows.

So, I just want to encourage somebody out there that no matter what the past has been or what anyone has done to make life difficult for you in the past, it is time to get up and GO! Start from where you are now to make something meaningful out of that situation.

Dear reader, it’s time to sit-up and get real with your life and trust your guts, everything will turn out just right.

STELLA ENE-INYANG

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY: OGA! ARE YOU THE GOVERNMENT?

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Mr Egodi is a bus driver. He works from very early in the mornings, as early as 4am to meet up with early morning ‘rushers’ that is, workers and other business persons who leave their homes in the wee hours of the morning  everyday by public transport. Mr Egodi has a family of four, his wife and three young children, a girl who is just seven years old, boy 8 and the eldest boy 10. These children attend a public school just a few miles from the home and the trio walk to and fro the school every day.

Their mother Mrs Egodi sells roasted corn and sometimes plantains during the day by the roadside. She has a gutter right in front of where she does her business and oftentimes, throws the peels of the plantain and corn right inside the gutter and of course overtime, the gutter has gone from stagnant to a heaped refuse bin thus preventing any further flow of water. When she is cautioned by anyone to refrain from dumping refuse in there, her responses include “na you be government, is it your father’s house or what is your business”?

On the other hand, Mr Egodi buys a bottle of cold beverage drink during the day which most times is very hot hence the need for that drink. He gulps the content of the cold bottle and immediately, instead of leaving the empty bottles in the bus till he gets to a proper refuse bin, he would rather throw the bottles on the street which many times would eventually roll or get kicked into the nearest gutters by idle street mischief-makers. Again when a passenger scolds him for dumping the bottles on the street, his responses not anyway different from his wife’s will also include “oga or madam patriotic, what is your business, abeg when you get to your home or  office you can talk to your children or workers like that, this is my bus or are you government?”

One day while everyone was still at work and children on their way from school, it rained nonstop and heavily too, and of course the roads and many houses were flooded and since many of the gutters were already blocked with refuse from the likes of the Egodis, many people could not find their way home so easily including the children of Mr and Mrs Egodi. And while the children tried to wade their way home through the waters, given the current of the flow of water, the daughter was suddenly picked up by the flood even as the helpless siblings screamed for help as they couldn’t get hold of her given the heavy downpour. 

Luckily, it took the intervention of a man who was also at the scene to rescue the little girl whom by the time she was eventually pulled out from a spot was bleeding profusely from a big scar on her head very close to the right eye; it was obvious she had smashed her head against a huge and sharp object whilst the torrent of waters swept her away.  Sadly she lost that eye at the end of the day. Till this day, Mr and Mrs Egodi blame the government for the fate of their daughter.

Now some of the questions for the likes of the Egodis include “is it the government that filled the gutters with refuse or that makes the rains fall? And this brings me to my topic “Taking responsibility of our Environment".

A few days ago, it rained heavily in Lagos and some other parts of Nigeria leaving people stranded at home for as much as two days whilst many others lost so much properties even as a couple of lives were lost.

The thing here is, the rains will always come and when they do, one can never predict how much damages they would leave behind so why do we as citizens keep engaging in the wrong things when it comes to protecting ourselves from having to encounter the wreckages of an aftermath of heavy downpour every year?

Reports have it after what happened in the Lekki axis that apart from blocked drainages by refuse, many people built houses over drainage systems, who does that?

It is so insane the way we behave in this part of the world. The blame over such houses built should be on the town planners who either ‘okayed’ such plans or didn’t do their work by ensuring that such houses shouldn’t be positioned there in the first place. It is such scenarios that make some ignorant people quickly blame the government; after all it is the government who appointed those supervisors in the first place, right? What about you, the neighbour or citizen who turns a blind eye to such habits with the attitude of “it’s none of my business” and unfortunately, it becomes “your business” when the entire environment, including yours suffers the consequences of what was initially termed “none of your business”.

  

Now who and what is the government?

The government is made up of people from amongst us, right? hence if we as citizens can eat gala, biscuits, corn and throw the waste in the gutters, then what do you expect from our representatives in government? Of course they would turn a blind eye to such buildings and even do less or nothing when it comes to disciplining anyone seen dumping refuse in the gutters.

But then who cares? Nobody!

Instead everyone is busy looking for anyway to get their bread ‘buttered’ so nobody is held responsible for anything until the day of reckoning when all those involved or not involved in these irresponsible acts and habits are affected in one way or the other. Then once again, the government is blamed and the circle continues.

The truth is, we are first of all our own government before anything else. Let us speak against any damaging environmental act around us and caution anyone involved as in doing so we protect not just our environment but ourselves as well.

So when next you are asked “is it your business or na you be government? Be quick to reply “yes, it’s my business” or “yes, I am the government” without batting an eyelid.

Next time, we'll talk about the business of recycling, reuse and more!

(c) STELLA ENE-INYANG