I woke up this morning and while praying I remembered a
lovely couple, Bishop Lawrence and Pastor Dora Osagie of Powerline Bible Church, who
is celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary today the 19th
of April, 2016 and I thought “wow! That is a long time”.
Thirty years is ‘no joke’ and it is not every day you come
across such a couple especially in this era where divorce is fast becoming a norm
all over the world. In the past, divorce was mostly associated with celebrities
in foreign ‘bubbling’ circles such as Hollywood and the rest of the world until
most recently when Nigerian Nollywood and entertainment industry, even Christian
marriages including Pastors started towing the same ‘unhealthy’ line thereby
rendering the marital vows of ‘for
better or for worse’ and ‘till death do us part’ useless.
It is often said that ‘the couples that are meant to be are
the ones who go through everything that’s designed to tear them apart and come
out even stronger’. And so when I look at couples who have spent decades
together, I know for a fact that these are couples who have cried together,
chastised each other, fought and won battles together and still on the path of
conquering new grounds.
I tell people and anyone who cares to listen that money is indisputably
good and no doubts required in every relationship/marriage but then it shouldn’t
be a ‘do or die’ or the utmost factor that should sustain it as there is
nothing as good as when a home is peaceful. If there is so much money in the
home, it does not guarantee peace if those involved in the marriage are not willing
to sacrifice a lot of personal interests.
About a year ago, I was talking with a friend and she said
that she couldn’t bear to be with a guy for too long let alone be married. My reaction
was “really? You must be crazy” and we laughed over the issue but she went on
about it even as I tried to change the subject as we were meeting for a more
serious business matter which involved a lot of money and of course, that was
uppermost in mind. Nonetheless, I took time out to listen to my ‘very good
friend’ talk about some of the reasons discouraging her from getting married.
An Arabian proverb says ‘marrying a man is like buying
something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop’ and I always add that
‘it’s the same for a woman as well’. This means both parties (not just the man)
admired each other before they got married, so why go through all the hassles
of getting that item off the shop window, thereby preventing others from
admiring it, only for you to take it home and dump it in the trash at the end
of the day. That is what I term ‘absolute selfish’ as you may have prevented
someone else who would have treated that item better from buying it.
Some people including my ‘very’ friend cannot stand being around
a particular person for a long time as they tend to get tired of being around the
same people every day of their lives and then would start acting up which
eventually (for a fact) would lead to them giving some form of ‘attitude’ and thereafter
would most of the time culminate to ‘cold’ fights or even physical fights if
not handled properly until they either go their separate ways or somebody sadly
dies in the process.
For such people as my friend, I tend to lean towards agreeing
with them for a brief moment as they would rather be honest with you from the
onset, instead of leading you on only to get dumped at the end of the day. But then
I shake myself out of that brief reverie and ask “how long will that continue”
knowing that she’s in a relationship every now and then. Of course, the replies
never come out right 100% of the time. But then again *sighs* I shrug my
shoulders and say to myself ‘well it’s
none of my business as long as I’m not involved in the matter’.
But then, I think commitment is sacrifice and when two
people agree to be in a relationship then they should be willing to sacrifice a
lot for each other including some of the attitudes (which I am tempted to once
again term selfish) that lead to fights most of the time.
Sometime ago, while on my way to work, I was listening to
one of the messages by Bishop Lawrence Osagie from a CD in the car and
something struck me when he said ‘in every marriage, someone has to play the
fool sometimes so that there will be peace in the home’ and it made a lot of
sense and it still does till this very day.
After that message, I have come to realize that some
arguments a lot of couples engage in their homes are not really necessary most
of the times. Occasionally, instead of trying to find out who went wrong, it
pays for either party to take the blame or just let the issue die a natural
death if they can’t simply talk about the issue without having to yell at each
other or get into a ‘cold’ war. I have recommended the ‘playing the fool
sometimes’ technique to many couples and results show that it has worked tremendously
for a large number of them.
But then again, it shouldn’t be an avenue for either party
to take advantage of the technique by letting one person keep taking the blame or saying “okay I’m
sorry” most of the time because doing that will water down the entire method
thereby rendering it ineffective. That’s why I said before now that either
party should be willing to make sacrifices, including ego sometimes.
Need I say more? I don’t think so. While celebrating Bishop
Lawrence Osagie and his beautiful wife Pastor Dora Osagie on their 30th year
wedding anniversary, I tap into the blessings that have come from this
sustained marriage even as I enjoin all those who are yet to be thirty years in
their marriages to do the same. Also, I’ll use this medium to celebrate many
other couples around the world, who are celebrating their different wedding
anniversaries in this month of April, 2016.
Finally, here is wishing another beautiful thirty years to
this happy couple as Bishop Osagie has proved again after all these years that indeed
“a happy man marries the woman he loves: a happier man loves the woman he
married” I guess that’s why they are still going stronger in love as the years
roll by.
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