'BROUHAHA' AND THE ANGRY MEN AT THE STATIONS

Some Nigerians are not smiling at all. They now at the very least of provocations vent out their anger on the nearest person or thing.

This morning on my way to the office, my fuel tank was already on ‘RED’ after giving the ‘low fuel’ sign all weekend. In the course of the weekend, fuel was bought for the generator set, but then, I could not *for the love of me, my car and my hard earned money* afford to fill the car with the fuel bought from the ‘black’ marketers which 98% of the time is adulterated for fear of the car developing a fault and thereafter spend money on unplanned repairs. A friend is still in a dilemma with his mechanics for the past two months due to bad fuel which he bought from those marketers. The annoying part of his dilemma is that he actually got that ‘bad’ fuel at the most ridiculous amount you can ever imagine. Did I hear you say he bought trouble at a huge price?

And so with my friend’s experience on my mind, I decided to drive out by ‘faith’ hoping that the fuel left in the car would get me to the nearest ‘selling’ gas station. And of course, I planned on queuing irrespective of how long the queue turned out as long as it was moving, I was willing to wait.

Luckily, after a few minutes’ drive, I came across a station with a very short queue and most interestingly devoid of miscreants or any form of rowdiness. With the station manager at the gates, the process was orderly and trust ‘yours sincerely’ to swiftly join the queue and in ‘no time’ I was out of the station smiling away with a full-tank and of course a full gallon as well for the generator set at home. Was I happy? YAY! I was!!

Pardon me; I started off talking about ‘angry Nigerians’ right? By now you may be wondering ‘what is the link? Please stay with me as I intend getting somewhere with all of these.

While at the station, the manager and I got talking and then he mentioned how one of the pumps, which I noticed wasn’t working got destroyed by an angry customer who got upset when the fuel attendant refused to sell to him insisting that he, the customer who had ‘jumped queue’, that is, maneuvered his way into the station, would have to go out of the station, join the queue like every other persons and wait for his turn.

However the customer wouldn’t have any of that, so he vehemently took the nozzle from the attendant hitting it around the pump stand, negating the fact that his action could lead to an inferno, even as he kicked and pushed it as though he could pull it off the ground and eventually left the station fuming and ranting. At the end of the brouhaha, of course the counter started malfunctioning.

Back to the office, the first headline I saw online coming off a newspaper was: soldiers beat fuel station manager for failing to sell in jerrycans”.

I laughed out loud and at that point said “|Nigerians are not smiling”. The times are hard enough as there are no doubts and everyone is spending wisely and so when you see such headlines and hear stories such as the man at that station, you know it’s the entire frustrating economic situation.

According to reports on that headline, unidentified soldiers at Damaturu in Yobe state on Saturday night approached the Manager at one of the stations demanding fuel to be sold to them in Jerry cans but the manager refused and it was his refusal which got him a serious beating.

Narrating his ordeal, the Manager, who is now on admission at a specialist hospital in Damaturu, said “I was about leaving the station when some soldiers approached me that they are coming from Buratai and going to Maiduguri so I should get them fuel. I told them we have closed but I can get them 30 litres that will take them to Maiduguri but they said no, they want the fuel in jerry cans. Then I told them I can’t give them in jerry cans except the 30 liters that would help them to get to Maiduguri.

“While we were arguing over this, one of them called one among them to go and bring the jerry cans. Within that time, I found a way of escaping from their sight because I noticed they were not ready to listen to me.

“I went and did my evening prayers, came back and sat opposite the filling station then I saw five soldiers coming towards me. Before I could say anything, they started beating me up and everybody that was there became surprised. Somebody wanted to call with his phone and they collected the phone and started beating him too.

“It was at this point that I ran to ‘A’ Division Police Station. They followed me to the Police Station and in front of the DPO they continued the beating,” the manager concluded. 

There are now speculations that this act by the Soldiers could lead to more fuel hardship for residents and motorists in Damaturu as Alhaji Audu Girigiri, the Chairman of the Independent Marketers in the state has vowed not to open or receive any fuel supply in all stations in Damaturu and Yobe’s entirety “if the military authority does not take action to punish those soldiers within the next 48 hours” even as he sympathized with the hospitalized station manager.  

There were also accusations against Security Personnel from the Residents and motorists of the state who narrated their unwholesome activities of jumping queues to get fuel and thereafter selling in the ‘black’ market for as high as N500 a litre.

Hmmm! N500 a litre indeed!!

Girigiri while expressing his disappointment added “I think the Petrol Task Force in the state is a failure because it has created more problems than solutions. It is this task force that is causing scarcity and hardship for people in Damaturu presently unlike before when fuel used to be available".

Alright, Petrol Task Force, over to you. What say you?

 

Retired Bankers Vs Real Tired Bankers

My friends were having a discussion the other day. At first I wasn’t interested in the topic until the word “retired” was mentioned and I quickly recalled a scenario which transpired a few years back between a trio of bank marketers and a potential client/depositor.

The said bank marketers had gone to this businessman who supposedly had a huge account with another bank that was of course making a great turnover in return.

When these marketers approached the man in his office, he took a good look at them without uttering a word for a while and then, like an afterthought, asked them their mission - as if he didn't know it already.

The first of the trio, a young man who appeared to  lead  the pack of two females went  thus; “Sir, we are marketers from so-and-so bank, we were wondering how we could be of any help to your great organization”.

While the young man spoke the potential client who was listening keenly had this smirk on his face which he eventually turned into a scornful laugh after a few minutes.

As soon as the potential client started  laughing, the young man stopped talking and with an embarrassed look on his face, turned towards his colleagues with an expression which said “Did I just do or say anything funny”?

While the young man was pondering on that, the potential client looked at the trio seated in front of him and said “Hey! Forgive my manners. I forgot to offer you drinks and, looking at you, you sure do need the offer." Ignoring their protests declining his offer, the man turned  towards a fridge behind him) and brought out three bottles of malt drinks which he placed of his visitor.

All the marketers did was mutter a /hushed “thank you” even though they made no move to touch the bottles.

The potential client sat back in his chair, cleared his throat and began, “You know what, I remember when this business started just a few years ago. I approached your bank for a loan, and you know what your bank said to me?"

The marketers shook their heads in the negative.

"Of course not,|" the man continued."Well, they told me that they don’t assist new businesses  and that even this same business that all your colleagues have been coming from different branches to solicit for account opening now, did not look promising to them at the time so could not put a dime in it”.

The marketers exchanged surprised looks - though that didn't fool the man one bit. They knew for a fact that it was the bank’s policy not to give loans to new or fresh businesses.

The man ignored their pretended surprise and continued, “So I went to another bank with the same proposal your bank had rejected and without much hassle, I got a loan, even more than what I requested from your bank after I was convinced by my then account officer to go for more than what I initially had in mind.  It is that money which was used to grow my business that has transformed into this huge business that you all are running after now."

“We, we ...” this time one of the ladies spoke “...understand your plight, sir, and  apologise on behalf of the bank for making you go through all that. But we would still like to know how we can…"

“Point of correction” the potential client cut in “I do not have a plight. It is you marketers who are in some kind of plight at the moment because I am way up beyond that now by the grace of God. And lest I forget, I'm not bitter anymore because at the end of the day, it was a good thing your bank turned me

down, otherwise I wouldn't have gone to my present bank and most importantly met my then account officer who today is a friend and like a brother in my family."

After a brief silence, the second lady, trying so hard to be as seductive as possible, said, "so since you are no longer angry with the bank, we still need to know how we can be of any help."

While she spoke, a man who looked in his early forties walked into the office and the potential client's face  immediately lit up with a smile and an outstretched hand for a handshake towards the man and said "speaking of which, this is the man-of-the-moment, Eugene my then account officer who's now retired from the bank and doing this same business of mine."

 After exchanging pleasantries with the others, the man sat down on a single settee at one end of the large office away from the rest and said "I learnt from the best you know." Turning while laughing towards the marketers, he added jokingly "don't believe anything he says o! If he says I am the-man-of-the-moment, he is the-MAN-OF-ALL-MOMENTS" and humbly picked up a magazine from the stack of papers on a table by the settee.

Well, my 'dears' I do not have any need for a new bank now as I'm fine with my present bank and most importantly you don't expect me to leave a bank that helped me for yours, would you? I give nearly every one of your bank marketers drinks whenever they show up here  because I sympathise with them because I know how hard you work knowing full well that up until now as we speak, your bank still does not help new business thereby making marketing difficult for you thereafter turn you all into 'REAL TIRED' bankers until you eventually take the bull by the horns and quietly Retire like my man over there who did not wait to become 'really tired' before retiring" pointing towards the man on the settee now reading a magazine. 

And so, it ended a case of RETIRED versus REAL TIRED bankers.

Here is my cup filled with so much love for all those 'REAL TIRED' bankers who are yet to 'RETIRE'.

Wishing YOU ALL THE BEST!