BLAME-GAME: HOW COULD YOU?

A lot of things ginger and motivate me to write and some of those things include ‘real life’ issues. Real life issues such as the one I am writing about today. Many times we hear people say  “men are dogs” and whenever I am present in such a circle of discussion, I am quick to say “not all men are dogs” because I know there are still over a thousand and one men out there who have proved and are still proving that ‘not all men are dogs’. But do I blame all those who hold the negative views about men? Hell no! Why is that? Yes, because a lot of men have FAILED woefully when it comes to sowing their wild oats.  Before you start getting involved in any hearty argument on this issue, perhaps it will do some good if one takes a moment to read to the end of this article.

Naturally, children are meant to be protected as that is the first thought that crops up any good/humane heart, but the situation in the world we live in today is otherwise. Mr Jerry Onu (real names withheld) leaves the home in the care of his wife, Nnenna (real names withheld) for a couple of weeks so he could attend to a business meet thereby enabling him meet up with the  responsibility of providing bread for his family returns to find out that the wife  is  pregnant. Without  any reason to doubt the legitimacy of the pregnancy,  as he was only away for a few weeks;  he accepts the news with so much joy despite them already having three kids as their union was already blessed with  a thirteen year old daughter and two boys  ages five and seven after her .

Upon Mr Jerry’s return from his trip, he met his thirteen year old daughter ill and being treated for malaria by her mother his wife (Nnenna).  Children falling ill have never been anything new in the environment we live hence does not give rise to parents panicking so much in such cases hence the case of their thirteen year old daughter was not an exception. However After treating her for the most likely cause – malaria- for a while, she was not responsive. At this point both parents started getting apprehensive, but of course the mother’s apprehension was more. The news got to a relative who after a close look and as a show of concern suggested a pregnancy test. The father  (Mr Jerry) refused at first because he could not imagine his lovely daughter experimenting with sex at that age, besides her mum was believed to be morally upright and very high-handedly strict which impressed him a lot.

Nevertheless, after much thoughts, the pregnancy test was carried out and it revealed the little girl of thirteen was weeks pregnant. ‘What! How! Those were the first words that emanated from the father when he got the devastating test result. Of course her mum was filled with fear and disappointment. Could it have been her school mate or her class teacher or a boy within/around the house that did this? Her father who was already consumed by so much anger and pain, just like every right thinking man would, had to interrogate the daughter while both parents ensued in a ‘blame-game’.

“It was uncle Jide daddy’s friend” she cried. “He comes to the house to see mummy and takes her out every time you travel” she continued. After further interrogations, it was revealed that her mum was having an extra marital affair with the ‘uncle Jide’.  As the little girl spoke, the father crumpled to the ground as he broke into hot tears.  According to the little girl looking at the mother, “it was that day you sent him to drop me at Fade’s place with your car that he did it”. On that day according to the little girl, Jide had deceptively made a stop at his house and lured the little girl into his bed after which he threatened to harm her if she ever told anyone. 

The story twist as a matter of fact revealed that Nnenna’s pregnancy was also an outcome of the unholy relationship with Jide. Mr Jerry’s pain and anger was not wholly based on the daughter’s pregnancy but also because Jide has been his all-time friend and a business partner whom he trusted so much like a brother. Jide’s wife and two kids live abroad and Jerry visits them whenever he went abroad as he always had something to deliver from Jide. As at the time of writing this article, the little girl’s pregnancy had been aborted and the mother (Nnenna) driven out of the house. Mr Jerry’s mother has moved into the house and is in charge of the kids at the moment. 

Now who is to blame? The mother of the girl or UNCLE JIDE? Are (SOME) men really dogs or not? My two cents is this “the woman a fool and the man is a BASTARD (you can also include PAEDOPHILE if you wish).  

AND SHE MAKES A LIVING

It is often said that one can only make a living out of a business he/she enjoys doing otherwise it would just be a complete ‘waste of time and effort’ not to mention the money that would have gone into it as well. On Friday the 13^th of March 2015, at about 1pm; we (I and one of the administrative staff) took a walk down the road near the office and walked up to one Mrs. Victoria John a healthy looking woman about early fifties who roasts corn to earn a living and we got talking.

Looking at the fine array of already finely roasted corn we asked how a buyer could decipher which corn was fresh and sweet. She responded that for the fresh non-roasted ones for example, one could bite the stalk/head to know how fresh it is given the kind of after-bite taste that you get. She also went on to show us among the already roasted ones how a sweet/delicious corn would seem like by mere looking at it. 

When asked how long she has been into the business {of corn roasting} she said for the past fifteen years and has also been able to raise her children some of them who are now married and by the “grace of God” has made her a grandmother today.  Pointing towards the young lady who was assisting her she added “this one has just finished” and is awaiting her NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) call-up letter.

It was interesting to hear her say she has great patronage and even clientele of about 3years who call her up for bulk purchase of corn every now and then.  In her own words, “some of my customers sef wey don move from here or even Lagos don introduce many other people to me from their new offices wey dem transfer go and even sef, as dem dey comot; dem go tell the new people wey dey the place wey dem comot” make dem dey come buy corn from my hand.

When asked how she copes when corn is out of season she said that she delves into the sale of roasted plantain otherwise known as ‘boli’, thereby helping her stay in the market until the next corn season. She also added that the African pear season also enables her corn to be sold–out on time as it makes the corn more delicious together with coconut and thus enables her make more money at such periods.

Mrs Victoria John further said that being a full house wife is not something good because it is always nice to assist the husband with little things in the house, she said at a point her children advised her to stop the business but she refused saying that her leaving home every morning would make her remain strong and energetic for a long time.Though she made it clear that it has not been easy for her over the years but it has however been worth it, as she can now look back and give a broad smile.

On her last words to people who are not willing to sacrifice anything and just want to get to the top at the snap of their fingers or those who devise devious means to make quick cash, she said they should be willing to strive and work hard before they enjoy as they have to labour to be favored because without that they would just be wasting their time but if they can imbibe the spirit of hard-work then the sky will be their starting point.

Before we finally left her, we bought some of her well roasted corn using some of the new tips and techniques which informed our choices and of course they tasted so deliciously filling that I didn’t need to have lunch after that.

LADIES!!! HAVE WE REALLY GONE MAD?

This morning on my way to work I got stuck in traffic. While in the terrible traffic I saw this very stout looking lady with a very short grey skirt that also had an outrageous slit at the back walk pass the car on my left. I couldn’t help but said aloud “what is this? Have we (ladies) gone mad? This is outrageously stupid” to my partner in the car with me and with a frown on my face I watched as the lady feeling so cool with herself continued walking away smiling as a guy walked behind her with his attention heavily focused on the massive buttocks which were obviously trying to stay properly packaged within the very tight skirt which was by now soaked in sweat around the panty lines area. And guess what? This lady was on her way to work!

On the 13^th of January 2013 I wrote this on my Facebook wall ‘’ Ladies, they spend half of their lives shopping for clothes yet when it's time to go out for an occasion they come out half naked all in the name of fashion! So what happened to the proper clothes?’’ and these are some of the responses that followed that post:  T. R so, true.  E. A Ask them? M. O “They never buy proper clothes...”  S. A “na waoh...tell them my sister”.  R. E “Lol. Na ward rope de wear am na? There was a day a married woman was putting on one of such clothes and a man asked her what happened to the remaining fabric. Meaning some of these men (who they try to impress) do not even like such outfits. So why do they now wear them?” E. M “Not sexy enough, so, inside wardrobe and boxes they stay”. S. S “What they wear is what they shop, they’ve lost values”. A. O. G. G “The most annoying part is that those one yard clothes they wear are even expensive so, one can't say its lack of money. END TIME ni o. Madam, you posted this topic and from my analysis, 80% of those that raised comments are women so, my concern is this...who is inspiring this and who are those manifesting it?” S.S.E ask dem C.O Laffff O. A.I. “We are going back to the Stone Age only that this time it is with class”.

I don’t understand why I would shop for clothes and never wear them or for things I wouldn’t be comfortable in. Given the responses above, does that mean we’ve really lost it as both genders kick against indecent dressing so who are we really trying to impress? I don’t want to go into the hues/descriptions of the kinds of outfits that were showcased during an awards event which was held just this last Saturday the 7^th of March 2015 (don’t want to mention names). While a lot of our celebs were properly dressed and looking all-gorgeous, some die-hard-attention-seeking-ones decided to show up looking like what yours-sincerely is still trying to find a WORD to describe. Anyhow, that topic on the red carpet has been heavily trashed on nearly all the social media platforms so no point revisiting it.

Like I concluded on the day I posted on my face book wall and in response to those who commented “you know sometimes girls make me laugh. My friends and I were at the train station a few days back and in this cold where everyone wears as many jumpers/coats to keep warm; a babe had this very skimpy sleeveless dress with high heeled shoes but no coat or even a jumper. Initially she was on the phone laughing and talking so loud. Eventually when conversation ended, you needed to see how she was shivering and gave us the look like we were not sympathetic enough to lend her our jackets. The questioning look (trust us) we gave back was ‘didn't you know that it was cold out here before you left home half naked? Mtcheew”.
Source: AndrevaShaw

THE CHICKEN 'YANSH' MYSTERY

Women or should I say Nigerian women (correct me if you think I’m wrong) never cease to amaze me. A lot of them can be so over dramatic when they want to be while another larger sum of them just enjoy being dramatic at every given opportunity especially when they want to prove a point which could sound/look silly to a lot of people in a lot of instances. Some points such as this theme on the ‘chicken yansh’ which I have titled this article.

On Sunday evening the 1st of March 2015 which was Just yesterday, I got home from church had a quick shower and was on my way to join a couple of friends in Surulere so we could all leave together to go watch a movie at the Ikeja Shoprite Cinema. As soon as I got into Surulere, there was a sudden change of weather with an impending heavy downpour as indicated by the dark clouds that covered the sky so for fear of being trapped in traffic or at Ikeja after the movie, I called my friends and suggested for us to reschedule given the weather situation which everyone agreed so I made a detour and started heading up back home but made a quick stop at a small roadside market to get a few things for supper.

At the market while everyone was trying to get all their wares up to get back home in a hurry, I walked into a shop where frozen poultry products where being sold and asked for an already dressed frozen chicken and while the young shop assistant was chopping up my chicken, another lady walked up to the ‘Madam’ (the owner of the shop) and was making a complaint about how she came about two hours earlier to buy chicken only for her to get home and found out that the ‘chicken yansh’ was missing so she had to come back in annoyance to get it as according to her “go cause serious wahala between me and my husband if I no bring that chicken yansh”.

At this point, I was shocked and couldn’t help but asked “are you for real? Do you mean you came all the way for something such as this chicken yansh”? Lifting the piece which had just being chopped off my own chicken to be thrown away.

Yes o! The lady enthused and stood up swiftly from where she sat next to the ‘madam’ of the shop. Walking towards me and the shop assistant , she continued “hmmm my sister truly, the thing go cause big trouble for me o if my Oga (husband) no see am, naim make I waka come back”.

“Please my sister” the owner of the shop said directed at me “if you want to throw away your own please can my girl (the shop assistant) give it to her? (pointing at the lady). I nodded in the affirmative “so that it would not cause trouble between herself and her husband? She concluded sarcastically.

The piece of chicken ‘yansh’ was put in a small black polythene bag and handed over to her which she thankfully (like a very satisfied customer) took from the shop assistant and walked away happily as though she just won a big battle leaving me behind looking baffled and it was in that baffled state I paid for my chicken got into my car and drove off quickly even as the rains came down heavily.

Now the question is “what is the mystery behind the chicken ‘yansh’?