Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Hey Guys! Check The Butt Before You Get The Boot!!



A doctor was recently convicted and sent to Prison somewhere in the United States because some butt and breast implantation which he carried out on some female patient or should I say client went terribly wrong.

I hate to put up horrible pictures on my page but then I sincerely crave your indulgence this one time that you grant me the opportunity to share these pictures as seen here below on the right in order to drive home my points on this particular outing.

I have always held the opinion that there is no moral justification for any woman or even men to have any surgical augmentation on their looks especially if it has nothing to do with health or some corrective body issues. Any surgeries other than the aforementioned type of surgeries which would be non-other than cosmetic, in order to look like the next person who obviously was created to look exactly the way they look is sheer madness. I just don’t get it!

Apart from corrective reasons, I honestly think it’s a no, no, for any sane person to go under the doctors’ knives all in a bid to look ‘JUST PERFECT’.

Sometime ago, I had a huge laugh with a couple of relatives as we all sat out in their house while we listened to a close friend of the family as he narrated his experience and ordeal on the day he had a meeting with a lady he met on badoo, one of the trending social media platforms.

According to him, he had been chatting with the said lady back and forth for a while until they both eventually agreed to meet at a certain hotel on a date. The ‘D’ day came and they both had lunch or was it late lunch? Can’t remember vividly but sure they had a meal together. Anyway, that’s not the focus of the write-up. The bottom-line is ‘there was a meal’. *laughs*

This family friend who’s known for sowing very ‘wild oats’ is a married man whose wife has on many occasions had serious fights with him over his randy and wayward lifestyle to no avail. His standard of living which includes womanizing, smoking as well as excessive drinking in a way that even some other men who indulge in such vices would be shocked and even regard themselves as ‘saints’ when compared with the level at which this particular guy operates. To say the least, his excesses were really excessive!

Enough digression and back to the day of the ‘badoo meeting’ *winks* between these duo.

After the meal, they both checked into a room and it didn’t take long before an argument ensued as soon as the man felt the lady’s butt only to realize that her very ‘perfect’ looking butt was outrightly FAKE! It was at this point that my relatives and I burst into bouts of laughter and chorused “good for you”.

Ignoring our outbursts, he continued and said he was so infuriated as soon as he  realized that the butt was fake and thus immediately asked the girl to leave claiming that she had deceived him with fake pictures on ‘badoo’ and since he’s found out it was not the ‘real thing’ she should get out of the room.

On the other hand however, the ‘badoo’ lady wouldn’t hear any of that and insisted to be paid before leaving with the stance that he had wasted her day having spent the time she would have used to look out for a better ‘client’, hence he would have to pay for ‘goods delivered’.

The man said she was crazy, that the ‘goods delivered’ were not used and besides they ‘didn’t meet up with expectations’ and then added that the meal the lady had was enough payment for her stress of meeting with him at all.

Phew! The rest is history even though at the end of the day after much trouble, he still did not give the lady a dime as she left raining curses on him to the amazement of other hotel customers and staffs. I still laugh every time I remember that incidence. That he was disconcerted after the whole scenario would have been a miracle. He was very much unperturbed. I guess this gives you a clear picture of how barefaced this fellow is as a person. End of story.

A couple of years ago, while on marketing rounds as a banker, my colleagues and I got into a discussion after we overhead the news on the radio about a young Nigerian girl who left the UK where she was sent to study and travelled to the states to have a butt enhancement surgery but unfortunately died in the process due to complications. It was reported that when the parents heard the news of her death, they were so broken and wondered who or what could have encouraged their daughter to go carry out such a surgery.

We have heard of so many cases of butt, breasts surgical enhancements, liposuction amongst many other cosmetic surgeries that have either gone wrong mildly or ended up in fatalities. But then again, that has still not dissuaded people in their tens-of-thousands all over the world from engaging in such procedures.

Sometimes I feel it has to do with having excess money and not knowing how to properly utilize the funds or maybe it is due to very LOW self-esteem forgetting that silicones can never be as good as the ‘real thing’.

We can’t all have the same sizes and shapes. That would be boring, wouldn’t it? God knows why he created us differently, after all not everyone likes watermelon. Some people would opt for bananas, oranges, apple, even tiger nuts when offered the fruits. So why do we need to go through all the hassles trying to look like ‘apples’ when not everyone likes apple. Hmmm! It’s crazy!!

About a month or two ago, I read in an interview where a popular Nollywood hunk said one of the things that put him off is a lady wearing fake butts or boobs. I laughed and then asked no one in particular ‘then why do we (ladies) try so hard to impress with those since the guys you try to impress will eventually find out at the end of the day anyway?

Babes! From artificial hair to fake eyelashes, boobs and butt pads which are understandably accepted by majority all over the world today, we have become more and more artificial as the years roll by especially with more scientific discoveries by professionals who keep coming up with ways on how we can part with our hard earned cash for procedures which we, of a truth do not really need.

In all of these though, having to wear them and take off on a daily basis is a lot better than going under the knife to have some silly silicone put in you with complications later. 

On a lighter note, if you do not have any good ideas on how to spend your money, trust me, I know a million good ways on how you can utilize such funds and I bet, you will be glad you did.
    
Please ladies! Save yourselves all that ‘troubles incurring’ procedures.

For me, silicones sound really ‘silly’! My thoughts though.


Wednesday, 4 May 2016

MENACE OF SOCIAL MEDIA: TYPE 'AMEN' IF SYNDROME



Some specific group of human beings never cease to amaze me and a lot of other serious minded people as well. Or should I simply put it thus, that some people are so jobless and gullible.

Just when you think you’ve seen it all on social media, Gbam! You are hit with a new dimension.  From the look of things *and I kid you not* we haven’t seen anything compared with what is yet to come on social media.

What have we not seen, read or heard? You name it.

From couples washing their dirty linen out there, to chicks *young and old* trying to break the internet on a daily basis while posting nude/semi-nude pictures of their ‘ought to be private’ assets/endowments for both local and international recognition/market; onto posts where you are asked to type words such as ‘Amen’ to some kinds of prayers, ‘Yes’ if you agree with a comment or the post as well as ‘RIP’ when a picture ‘most times horrible’ of someone who just passed away is displayed and many more too numerous to outline here.  I bet you, we haven’t seen anything yet or you ain’t seen nuttin yet *in my American accent* laughs.

Last week I saw a horribly pathetic picture on a friend’s facebook page where she was tagged by someone else and on the post just after the picture was written “type Amen if you don’t want to die tonight” or was it “if you don’t type Amen you will die tonight”. I have forgotten the exact way it was written but then it was either of the two statements aforementioned.  To say I was shocked would be understated because I was altogether shocked, surprised, confused, and angry and interestingly even felt sorry for whoever did send out such a post. 

No God, not even the smallest of the gods in their right senses would answer such prayers on silly posts.

What was most worrisome and annoying was the fact that nearly everyone who commented on the post actually typed ‘Amen’ safe for the very few people who expressed their anger by warning whoever did send such a post never to tag them on such posts again or simply unfriend them while a few others sent back curses *some of which were hilarious* at the perpetrator/whoever sent the post.

Surprisingly, after going through the list of comments, I stumbled on my friend’s and was I shocked to see that she was amongst those who typed ‘Amen’? Yes I was because I never knew she was that susceptible to such ‘matters’ as I always thought she was a bit of a smart ass who I held in high esteem. I was disappointed. Without a word, I just scrolled past her page and moved on to another more interesting page.

It is such situations that you would wish Mark Zuckerberg had hit buttons such as God punish you right back or may your fingers wither as you try typing rubbish again and many other terribly harsh responses to such stupid posts.

I can understand where over a million people type ‘Amen’ to a post which has a picture of a man swaddled in millions of dollar bills from his chair and all over his living room. Even though most times I find such pictures very funny and outrageous with prayers such as “may you wake up to find your house filled with dollar bills overnight”, it still makes some sense to find people including reasonable persons who *even though they know it can’t happen just like that* would still go ahead to type ‘Amen’ for the fun of it, after all who doesn’t want to be rich? *Laughs*. Ha! Poverty is a knuckle head that deserves a permanent eradication from lives!!

Enough said already, please in as much as we are free to post whatever we like on social media, let’s not compel or threaten people with silly things on the platform that is meant to make life easier. If you truly enjoy getting the ‘Amen’ on your posts, then I admonish you make it a habit of sending something nice/sensible all the time or better still,  you can stick with such as the million dollar bills pictured posts. 

One quick question before I go. How much do these people make per annum from making people type such ‘Amen(s)’?

It still baffles me!

Monday, 2 May 2016

LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM: JONATHAN CAUSES COMMOTION IN LONDON



Na wa! Guess who almost caused chaos or should I say pandemonium at  805,  a popular Nigerian Restaurant in London a while ago?

Some of you may have heard it by now. Anyways, for those who haven't heard, it was none other than Nigeria’s iummediate past President  Dr. Goodluck Jonathan alongside his son, Ariwera and daughter, Aruabai. 

Love him or hate him, the former President to many including his children is a  devoted father as despite being on a speaking tour of the US last week, made it a point of duty to go steal some quality time with his kids in London.
  
The commotion that was averted was due to the large number of people present at the restaurant, Nigerian and non-Nigerians alike who as a show of love, were eager to take pictures with him and if possible get handshakes.
 
Love and appreciation can be got even far away from home. No matter how taunted or criticized. Some persons somewhere would still be having ‘your back’

Enjoy the pictures from the restaurant with Nigeria’s former first family!