JUNE 12: COLOURS, HUES, SHADES AND TONES

Without mincing words, June 12 definitely has many colours. I have a school daughter who was born on the 12^th of June many years ago. I’m smiling right now because I can only imagine what she would say when she reads this article. She’s very stubborn and at the same time very intelligent. Today she is not only a wife, mother but also a hard working woman and a lawyer in the making after many years of graduation from the University of Ife.   Enough of my school daughter for now.

Also on this day the 12^th of June in the year 1993 to be précise.  There was an election and MKO Abiola was presumed winner (though a lot of people say he declared himself winner). However, MKO Abiola had to spend some time in prison following the annulment of the June Twelve polls by the then military Junta and  head of state Major General Ibrahim Babangida and eventually died in the struggle for the actualization of the mandate accorded him by Nigerians in 1998.  

While the Abiola family will be remembering this day in history, the Mandela family will also have something to remember as it was also on this day in 1964 that the great ‘MADIBA’ Nelson Mandela was sentenced to life imprisonment by the then apartheid regime of his homeland in South Africa.

On this day in 1931, Al Capone (Alphonse Capone) was indicted on 5,000 counts of prohibition and perjury.  One would not need to ponder so hard to guess what comes to the minds of many especially movie lovers, definitely it will be the great performance by Al Pacino in the movie 'Scarface' where he starred as the die-hard ‘Capone’ as Tony Montana. *That movie was a blockbuster* Nevertheless, today’s take is not about the movie ‘Capone’ Tony Montana  but the real life Al Capone an American gangster who moved to Chicago from New York in the early 90s to eventually take over a thriving illegal trade which included prostitution, gang-killings and smuggling until he later got convicted for tax evasion and eventually died at the age of 48 from Neurosyhilis.

While Al Capone was making his way to Chicago in the early 90s, far away in Brazil on this same day in 1926, Brazil left the League of Nations. The League of Nations was an intergovernmental organization that was founded in 1920 as an outcome of the Paris Peace conference which ended World War 1.

No doubts many of us remember Ben Johnson the Canadian Sprinter and Olympian who was later disqualified.  On this day in 1989 he broke the hearts of many of his fans when he admitted to the use of steroids to make those world breaking record performances on the tracks.

This write-up could go on and on to reel out history on this day and its many colours, hues, shades and tones but before things get out of hand, let me use this opportunity to wish my lovely school daughter (and all those born on this day) a beautiful happy birthday and also to also wish that Nigeria will remain democratic forever with constant delivery of the dividends of DEMOCRACY to the door steps of my fellow NIGERIANS who this time around have embraced “CHANGE”. 

Now I’m off to get a copy of that great and then block-bursting movie ‘Scarface’ to watch while I await this highly expected wind of ‘CHANGE’ as we all enjoy the colours of the day. *Smiles*

IS IT OKAY TO HUMILIATE YOUR CHILD ONLINE?

Amidst a deluge of child shaming videos, one American dad's anti-humiliation film has been viewed millions of times.

Shame has long been part of the parenting repertoire. Caught pinching sweets? A parent might march the child back down to the shop to apologise to the owner. In playgrounds all over the world, children are forced to publicly apologise to peers they've tormented with sharp elbows and thrown sand.

But in an era when many young people their lives on the internet, the internet also gives parents entirely new shaming possibilities. There's recently been a spate of videos where parents have taken to social media to embarrass or humiliate their wayward youth. There was the woman who outed her daughter's lie about her age... the mother who followed her truanting child around school... and the trend of viral hair cutting videos.

But one father of four in Florida has waded into the debate with a video arguing that online shaming has gone way too far. In a video viewed 20m times (and counting), Wayman Gresham stands over his son with an electric razor: "I'm going to teach my son a lesson." The boy, his head down, plays along. But just before the first cut is made, Gresham calls the punishment a halt: "Wait a minute. Come here boy, give me a hug."

"There's no way in the world I would ever embarrass my son like that," he says into the camera. "It doesn't take all that. Good parenting starts before he even gets to the point of being out of control." Gresham's video, which promotes a play he wrote and directed, also includes a strong Christian message.

"I've gone on Facebook and many times I've seen this kind of punishment, cutting of the hair or a child being embarrassed one way or another," Gresham told BBC Trending. "There is no legitimate reason for humiliating your child, there is no legitimate reason for snatching their dignity away."
"I wouldn't dare call these parents 'bad parents' because they made bad mistakes," he said. "Nevertheless, to get on Facebook and humiliate your child like this, it's not for the benefit of the child... the overall message is, we could all do better as parents."

Many experts agree. Child psychologist Karyl McBride told Trending: "I think it would be difficult to find someone in the field of psychology and mental health who would say [public child shaming] is appropriate."

"When parents are shaming and humiliating children, that impacts the child's ability to have proper bonding and attachment with those parents. It impairs trust," she says. "It causes the children to grown up with internal messages of 'I'm a bad person.' And that's not going to develop a healthy human being."

Shaming videos have sharply divided the opinions of the general public - for example some felt that Val Starks, the Denver mother who berated her daughter for lying about her age online, was doing a good job. "You are trying to preserve her innocence and child hood," read one comment on Starks' video. Many others though took the opposite view. "This isn't good parenting," one commented, "this is bullying."

I guess we all have our different ways of scolding or correcting kids, nevertheless, let us all bare in mind that 'moderation' is the buzzword for everything in life.



Source: BBC

On the 17th of January, 1978, Sylvester Omelejie Ojigbede was born to stephen Iyamu and Victoria Modupe Ojigbede the last born of their five children. Always a beautiful child with a great disposition, Omo was well-loved. he grew up surrounded by parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbours and even the occasional stranger who doted on him. When the time came, he attended Saint Catherine's Model School, at number 13, Fawehinmi street, Surulere just like all his siblings before him. From 1982 to 1989, he was taught 'Diligence at work', the school motto and a foundation that would remain core to his character for the rest of his life.

At home, Omo had another great seat of learning, merely by being exposed to the example of his parents. Until this day, his father Chief S.I. Ojigbed is synonymous with integrity and honest to all who have ever had the pleasure of working with him. Mrs O, as his mother was often affectionately called, was full of boundless energy and was a renowned hard worker, who had a successful career in HR, all while she owned her own business and kept the home running smoothly.

But home life wasn't all work. Many people have heard Sly tell the story of how his love for music,

and his encyclopaedic knowledge of songs from well 'before his time' began with listening to Chief Ojigbed's collection of LPs on Sunday afternoons, and being taught about the music by his father. Mrs O was also a fun-loving, family-oreinted person, so there were always picnics, parties, amusement parks, beaches and holiday trips in the offing.

His secondary education also followed the family tradition when he proceeded to Command Secondary School, Ipaja, a schooll attended by his only sister Hilda and also by Stanley, one of his older brothers. He was at CSS, Ipaja from 1989 to 1994. Sly was a popular student, participating actively in many social activities and sports, especially basketball. His outgoing personality, warmth as well as his flair for music and entertainment made him a favourite with many. It was at this time that his talent and deep knowledge of contemporary music started to become obvious, writing his own rap verses in his notebook and coming up with the answer to almost any movie or music question he was asked.

After CSS, Ipaja, Omo attended the University of Ilorin for a year, before changing to the University of Lagos, where he obtained a degree in Economics. He was a diligent student, making the 'Dean's list' on more than one occasion. It was in Unilag tha he met the lady who would complete him Funmilayo. Dunbar could be moody sometimes and she was his perfect foil. Her irrepressible cheerfulness and gentle teasing worked wonders for him. In the future, her strength would be needed more than anyone could have imagined then.

Omo worked for sometime in branding and advertising, at Advanta Interactive Company with his eldest brother, Efe Ojigbede. Later, he chose to pursue a career in banking, taking a position with United Mortgage, then moving on to Zenith Bank. While on a marketing assignment for Zenith, he met the man who would become his mentor, Tintin. Through him, Sly began to do weekend stints on the radio, with Classic FM, Sly had found his calling.

Sly took to radio like a duck to water. In a short time his voice and manner on the radio were as self-assured and natural as if he was a veteran. That diligence learned all those past years was paying off big-time. He threw himself into the work, building a loyal followership while he worked with a great cast of other OAPs in the Classic family. The camaraderie and love between them all was evident in their banter while on air. Tintin, Afrologic, Buki, Schullzz, Chico, Bukola, Kachi, Queen Ahneva, Benji, Lawrence, Elvina, Flo, Uyoh, Silo Bankole and of course his "Uncle" Jimi Disu... Sly had found yet another family.

In December 2013, Sly's diligence was rewarded and his excellence was officially recognised when he was named outstanding Presenter of the Year at the Nigerian Broadcasters Merit Awards.

His success wasn't limited to work, though. In his home life, Dunbar was growing. On the 20th of September, 2008, Omo and the love of his life, Ivy Funmilayo, became one. Their union has been blessed in many ways, with the highlights being their two beautiful daughters, Tare and Luyi. Omo shared a warm, happy, vibrant relationship with his family. The way Tare engages you effortlessly lets you know that she is a loved child, confident in the regard of her parents and family.

This warmth went beyond his nuclear family, of course. The child who had been pampered by an army of uncles, aunts and neighbours was now himself a favourite uncle. There was no gathering of his extended family, with the various nieces and nephews, that wasn't improved by having Uncle Dunbar present. He would kick a ball around with Aye, play a video game with Chibundu, have a friendly chat with Kenechi.

He is still present at any gathering of his family, friends and fans. His spirit will now be with us, all of us who knew and loved him. All of us who felt the special glow that was his presence. That loud laugh. Those crushing hugs. The ability to mimic almost anyone he had ever met. Being able to recite entire movies word for word. His loyalty. His willingness to help. Compassion. His karaoke singing. His love for Chelsea Football Club. His knowledge. His passion for rap, hip hop, RnB, jazz, rock, reggae and indeed all music. Diligence et al.

The 8th of May marks the birthday of his mothe Mrs Victoria Modupe Ojigbede who passed on in 1998. They shared a special relationship, the strong bond that often forms between a woman and her youngest child. It is fitting that he is also laid to rest on this day, just as his spirit has joined hers, once again.

Adieu Sylvester 'Sly' Ojigbede!