JUNE 12: COLOURS, HUES, SHADES AND TONES

Without mincing words, June 12 definitely has many colours. I have a school daughter who was born on the 12^th of June many years ago. I’m smiling right now because I can only imagine what she would say when she reads this article. She’s very stubborn and at the same time very intelligent. Today she is not only a wife, mother but also a hard working woman and a lawyer in the making after many years of graduation from the University of Ife.   Enough of my school daughter for now.

Also on this day the 12^th of June in the year 1993 to be précise.  There was an election and MKO Abiola was presumed winner (though a lot of people say he declared himself winner). However, MKO Abiola had to spend some time in prison following the annulment of the June Twelve polls by the then military Junta and  head of state Major General Ibrahim Babangida and eventually died in the struggle for the actualization of the mandate accorded him by Nigerians in 1998.  

While the Abiola family will be remembering this day in history, the Mandela family will also have something to remember as it was also on this day in 1964 that the great ‘MADIBA’ Nelson Mandela was sentenced to life imprisonment by the then apartheid regime of his homeland in South Africa.

On this day in 1931, Al Capone (Alphonse Capone) was indicted on 5,000 counts of prohibition and perjury.  One would not need to ponder so hard to guess what comes to the minds of many especially movie lovers, definitely it will be the great performance by Al Pacino in the movie 'Scarface' where he starred as the die-hard ‘Capone’ as Tony Montana. *That movie was a blockbuster* Nevertheless, today’s take is not about the movie ‘Capone’ Tony Montana  but the real life Al Capone an American gangster who moved to Chicago from New York in the early 90s to eventually take over a thriving illegal trade which included prostitution, gang-killings and smuggling until he later got convicted for tax evasion and eventually died at the age of 48 from Neurosyhilis.

While Al Capone was making his way to Chicago in the early 90s, far away in Brazil on this same day in 1926, Brazil left the League of Nations. The League of Nations was an intergovernmental organization that was founded in 1920 as an outcome of the Paris Peace conference which ended World War 1.

No doubts many of us remember Ben Johnson the Canadian Sprinter and Olympian who was later disqualified.  On this day in 1989 he broke the hearts of many of his fans when he admitted to the use of steroids to make those world breaking record performances on the tracks.

This write-up could go on and on to reel out history on this day and its many colours, hues, shades and tones but before things get out of hand, let me use this opportunity to wish my lovely school daughter (and all those born on this day) a beautiful happy birthday and also to also wish that Nigeria will remain democratic forever with constant delivery of the dividends of DEMOCRACY to the door steps of my fellow NIGERIANS who this time around have embraced “CHANGE”. 

Now I’m off to get a copy of that great and then block-bursting movie ‘Scarface’ to watch while I await this highly expected wind of ‘CHANGE’ as we all enjoy the colours of the day. *Smiles*

IS IT OKAY TO HUMILIATE YOUR CHILD ONLINE?

Amidst a deluge of child shaming videos, one American dad's anti-humiliation film has been viewed millions of times.

Shame has long been part of the parenting repertoire. Caught pinching sweets? A parent might march the child back down to the shop to apologise to the owner. In playgrounds all over the world, children are forced to publicly apologise to peers they've tormented with sharp elbows and thrown sand.

But in an era when many young people their lives on the internet, the internet also gives parents entirely new shaming possibilities. There's recently been a spate of videos where parents have taken to social media to embarrass or humiliate their wayward youth. There was the woman who outed her daughter's lie about her age... the mother who followed her truanting child around school... and the trend of viral hair cutting videos.

But one father of four in Florida has waded into the debate with a video arguing that online shaming has gone way too far. In a video viewed 20m times (and counting), Wayman Gresham stands over his son with an electric razor: "I'm going to teach my son a lesson." The boy, his head down, plays along. But just before the first cut is made, Gresham calls the punishment a halt: "Wait a minute. Come here boy, give me a hug."

"There's no way in the world I would ever embarrass my son like that," he says into the camera. "It doesn't take all that. Good parenting starts before he even gets to the point of being out of control." Gresham's video, which promotes a play he wrote and directed, also includes a strong Christian message.

"I've gone on Facebook and many times I've seen this kind of punishment, cutting of the hair or a child being embarrassed one way or another," Gresham told BBC Trending. "There is no legitimate reason for humiliating your child, there is no legitimate reason for snatching their dignity away."
"I wouldn't dare call these parents 'bad parents' because they made bad mistakes," he said. "Nevertheless, to get on Facebook and humiliate your child like this, it's not for the benefit of the child... the overall message is, we could all do better as parents."

Many experts agree. Child psychologist Karyl McBride told Trending: "I think it would be difficult to find someone in the field of psychology and mental health who would say [public child shaming] is appropriate."

"When parents are shaming and humiliating children, that impacts the child's ability to have proper bonding and attachment with those parents. It impairs trust," she says. "It causes the children to grown up with internal messages of 'I'm a bad person.' And that's not going to develop a healthy human being."

Shaming videos have sharply divided the opinions of the general public - for example some felt that Val Starks, the Denver mother who berated her daughter for lying about her age online, was doing a good job. "You are trying to preserve her innocence and child hood," read one comment on Starks' video. Many others though took the opposite view. "This isn't good parenting," one commented, "this is bullying."

I guess we all have our different ways of scolding or correcting kids, nevertheless, let us all bare in mind that 'moderation' is the buzzword for everything in life.



Source: BBC